Self Portrait in Three Colours

Posts Tagged ‘memories

I’ve just been browsing through some of my old posts on here (once again I can’t believe how much I actually used to update, I feel like I’ve only written like five entries since I started this blog) and there were a few that really stuck out to me, as an example of how much my life has changed recently. At the end of 2009 I was trying so hard to just to make it through every day after the events of that year. Beginning of 2010 I was feeling so cramped in my parents’ house and starting a uni course that I whole heartedly believed I would be completing (incidentally, 2012 was the year I was supposed to be finishing, sigh). I also whole heartedly believed that we would be living with my family for at least the next four years as we waited for the opportunity to build our own place. I found it difficult to keep up with blog posts because I didn’t feel like I had my own space to write.

Fast forward two years and we’re living in our own home, we have our own space, we are dealing much better with the loss of loved ones (it never leaves you, by the way, but your heart can heal in ways you never thought possible) and my uni path has taken a whole new direction. We no longer have to worry about cleaning stuff up just because we’ll be told off otherwise. That pile of dishes is still sitting there from yesterday and I don’t even care, because we’ll do it in our own time. I don’t have to worry about practicing when I feel sick. I don’t have to worry about people breathing over my shoulder when I’m writing, because instead of just having a bedroom to sit in, we have a lounge room, all of our own. I feel completely satisfied with my career choice, and totally pumped to get started. I am just so happy with my life the way it is right now, and it’s nice to finally feel that way, after everything we’ve been through.

Here’s to amazing year in 2012!

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Warning: This reads more as a fiction story than anything else – you will have to forgive me because that’s what it looks and feels like in my head, and so thats how the words came out on paper the screen. I promise I won’t always be this dramatic πŸ™‚

If you had showed me my life at this point two and a half years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you for a second, even if you had it in play-by-play mode. I would have asked where you’d found identical twins for myself and all my family because my brain simply would not have computed the fact that all this could actually be real. It’s not where I really saw my life headed and yet, here I am today and I can still hardly believe it.

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Okay, stop procrastinating and start writing your first blog post.

Well, hi. This feels like the 60 millionth blog I’ve started in my life. But really everything up until now has been very LiveJournal style, including my latest one which was, in fact, hosted at LiveJournal. And reading back on it last night, well, it felt too childish. Not saying that I was a childish person this time last year, but the posts I wrote were kind of boring and reminiscent of the posts I used to write back in High School when we were all on DeadJournal and then GreatestJournal and we’d write about every tiny little insignificant event that happened to us because it all mattered, apparently. And we’d read each others posts and comment, even though we knew exactly what had happened to each other that day because we’d just seen each other at school. I love reading back on those posts but it makes me cringe sometimes.

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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!

@clarinade

  • "I don't want to go back to class and watch the movie. I want to stay here with you and play flute all day." My students make me happy πŸ˜ŠπŸŽΆπŸ’• 11 months ago
  • I am finally watching Game of Thrones. And I am belatedly furious about the fate of Ned Stark. WHY. WHY WHY WHY. 1 year ago
  • I had several grade 4 girls ask me the other day, "What's a church?" What an interesting commentary on religion's place in society today. 1 year ago

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