Self Portrait in Three Colours

Posts Tagged ‘just a bit mushy

I’ve just been browsing through some of my old posts on here (once again I can’t believe how much I actually used to update, I feel like I’ve only written like five entries since I started this blog) and there were a few that really stuck out to me, as an example of how much my life has changed recently. At the end of 2009 I was trying so hard to just to make it through every day after the events of that year. Beginning of 2010 I was feeling so cramped in my parents’ house and starting a uni course that I whole heartedly believed I would be completing (incidentally, 2012 was the year I was supposed to be finishing, sigh). I also whole heartedly believed that we would be living with my family for at least the next four years as we waited for the opportunity to build our own place. I found it difficult to keep up with blog posts because I didn’t feel like I had my own space to write.

Fast forward two years and we’re living in our own home, we have our own space, we are dealing much better with the loss of loved ones (it never leaves you, by the way, but your heart can heal in ways you never thought possible) and my uni path has taken a whole new direction. We no longer have to worry about cleaning stuff up just because we’ll be told off otherwise. That pile of dishes is still sitting there from yesterday and I don’t even care, because we’ll do it in our own time. I don’t have to worry about practicing when I feel sick. I don’t have to worry about people breathing over my shoulder when I’m writing, because instead of just having a bedroom to sit in, we have a lounge room, all of our own. I feel completely satisfied with my career choice, and totally pumped to get started. I am just so happy with my life the way it is right now, and it’s nice to finally feel that way, after everything we’ve been through.

Here’s to amazing year in 2012!


.. my family really are my best friends.

I’ve found it hard to connect with people since finishing high school. I’m not sure what it is – maybe it’s just that I have differing values to all the people I’ve met, or maybe it’s just cos I’m a little bit awkward. Anyway, my shortcomings in the social department are for another post – I do happen to love my family because we have so much fun together πŸ™‚

It hasn’t always been like this. I mean, we never hated each other, and we’ve always gotten along (to an extent haha) but in the last few years, as everyone’s grown up, we’ve learnt to really appreciate each other’s company. And since then we’ve done some pretty great things together.

I think it’s partly to do with the addition ofΒ  Aaron – his family has always been super-close, going on camping trips together and hanging out – so his (and my) effort to bring that to my family has resulted in just that. Our insistence that we spend more time together and go on family holidays made us all realise that we can have fun without other people (friends etc) having to be there.

It also has to do with the fact that my brother and sister are now in their mid-teens and can understand and participate in more “adult” jokes. To be honest I always wondered how my parents would cope with them growing up, because they always appeared to be on the conservative side, but they’ve actually embraced the change and now make these jokes themselves- which makes us hanging out all the more fun!

Because of the kind of person I am, I always feel more comfortable when it’s just me and my family hanging out. I can just be, and not have to worry about trying to make a good impression all the time.

At my 20th - family and Denese & Peter (who may as well be family)

We’re a good team and I feel very lucky that we can not only laugh and be stupid together, but that we’re all there to support each other through anything. I guess that’s what family’s for, right? πŸ™‚

What brings all this sentimentality on? Well, Dad, Chris & Chelsea stayed the night at our place last night, to play Gran Turismo and watch numerous episodes of 24. I realised as we were cooking the BBQ and just chilling out outside that I was lucky to have a family that I could call friends. I have no idea who I’ll meet at uni this year – I might make some really amazing friends (I hope I do!!) – but it’s awesome to know that no matter what I’ll always have a family to go home to, and that’s the best part about all of this πŸ™‚

I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!


  • Maybe I’ll use this again. 7 months ago
  • "I don't want to go back to class and watch the movie. I want to stay here with you and play flute all day." My students make me happy πŸ˜ŠπŸŽΆπŸ’• 1 year ago
  • I am finally watching Game of Thrones. And I am belatedly furious about the fate of Ned Stark. WHY. WHY WHY WHY. 2 years ago

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.