Self Portrait in Three Colours

Posts Tagged ‘Aaron

Hey!

So it’s been a couple of days since I’ve written (okay, a week). First it was cos we were a little bit busy (SHOCK HORROR) and then it was cos we were so incredible not busy that there was nothing to write about. We’ve had a couple of 24 marathon nights since I last wrote – my whole family, including Mum & Chelsea’s boyfriend Harry, came and stayed on Thursday night (Mum sat in our room reading and playing Rummykub on her iPhone, she had a great time!) – and then we went down to their place on Saturday night. We’re two episodes away from finishing the first season – quite an achievement for only four different sessions. 24 is a TV series that I could watch over and over again and still pick up new things and be mildly shocked when something happens that I’d forgotten. What an amazing example of great television programming πŸ™‚

We also got our air conditioning put in last Friday! We actually had to have it on the heater the day we got it installed because it was so cold (um, hello summer?!?) but since then we’ve had a few warm days where it’s come in handy. Like today – it’s been 31 degrees (really the top end of my comfortable-ness with heat) and it’s kept the lounge room a balmy 25 degrees – beautiful. Also we went with Denese to Spotlight the other day to pick up all the materials we needed for curtains. We even got one up in our bedroom the other day, so no more waking up being positively blinded by the sun. The others are yet to be done, cos we had to get more screws to put in the window frame. Finally, yesterday we went to pick up our new (second hand) entertainment unit and coffee table that we bought off Gumtree. The coffee table we’re not using because it’s too big, but it was part of the deal. The entertainment unit, however, is gorgeous.

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It’s huge – it takes up a great deal of the space in our lounge room, but it’s so beautiful that we deal with it. Plus it’s got oodles of storage space, so it makes up for it being big.

Today we took Denese and Peter to the airport for their trip to Tassie, and we haven’t done much else all day! I’ve been reading lots, I just finished My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult – one of the most intensely emotional books I’ve ever read – and now I’m reading a book called Daniel’s Not Talking by Marti Leimbach, about a boy with autism and his family’s struggle. Interesting so far.

We’ve been trying a new healthy eating thing today (well mine started yesterday), which we are keeping up for exactly a week (and hopefully further on). I’ve been finding it really hard getting back on track with eating healthy and exercising, and it’s mainly because I let myself have things that I shouldn’t. I know that when I’ve been eating healthily for a period of time I don’t want any of that stuff, but because I’m in the habit, I can’t break it, even when I promise myself I’ll only have a little bit of [insert desirable food here]. So for one week I am not allowing myself anything unhealthy. Water and tea (and the occasional coffee, I decided today) is all I can drink, and the main portion of my diet will consist of fruit, vegies and grains. There’s not much we can do about dinner because we’ve already bought BBQ meat and pasta sauces in bulk (it’s cheap!), but I’ve just been having smaller amounts. Day 2 and I’m going strong πŸ™‚

We went for a walk this evening, after dinner and watching a bit more of Lord of the Rings. We were just going to walk the driveway like we usually do, but as we were walking we noticed a patch of bush off the track where the grass and the shrub wasn’t as super thick as everywhere else. We decided to check it out – it’s been so long since we’ve been bush-bashing. It was just nice to see somewhere different. Our property is so big and we hardly get to see any of it anymore because everything has grown so close together and is still relatively small after the fires. We’ve noticed it starting to thin out recently, though, which is very exciting. After a short stint of exploring in the bush, we continued up the driveway and stopped at the old gate so Aaron could rake out some of the loose gravel. I took the opportunity to check out the old stairs that were there for years before the fires and that we worked hard to bring back to life afterwards. When I say stairs, by the way, I mean just indentations into the hill, no man-made materials, just created with a shovel. Anyway, the last time I saw them, the section halfway up the hill was completely bare and would get slippery and muddy every time it rained. Now it’s completely overgrown and I had to be careful in sections so I wouldn’t trip down onto the next step. At the bottom, the blackwoods and wattles have completely taken over. It reminded me of the secret gardens for fairies that I used to read about, it was so dark and mysterious in there. The small birds love it.

After climbing back up the hill I went for a wander down the trench that filters water off the driveway when it rains. It’s one of the only other spots that you can walk without getting attacked by trees, and it extends down maybe 100 metres or so. I stood at the end and looked up at the big trees silhouetted in the sky, their branches bare of any leaves after the fire. With the sunset as a backdrop, it looked beautiful. And it reminded me how important it is to get off the beaten track whenever you can, in all areas of life. Sometimes you’ll see things you never thought you’d see, things that make you think about life differently. It was an eye-opening walk, however simple and “uneventful” it was, and it was extremely beneficial for my mental health.

Aaron has been organising our budget so we have a little bit more in spending money every week for the last stretch of the holidays. We’re thinking we might go down to Williamstown tomorrow or the next day and eat fish and chips on the bay. We haven’t done anything like that in a while so I’m really looking forward to it πŸ™‚

Now, in the spirit of eating healthy, I’m going to go and make myself a smoothie for dessert!

I never really know what to write when I’m starting off a post like this. I guess if I wrote more often not only would I be better at doing it, but I’d be able to start it as though I’m talking to a friend or family member that I see every day – very casual, starting wherever I need to without much of an introduction. But that feels silly when I really don’t write here much. I get cranky at myself when I think about it because my constant whinge to myself is that I don’t really have many people to talk to about the things that matter. Aaron is fantastic for many, many things, including listening, but I would begin to sound like a broken record if I told him every time I was feeling down and why, and really the general mood would be pretty lame for like 98% of the time.

That all being said I’m actually in a pretty good mood today. Aaron’s working, which sucks, but he was home this morning and we had a very relaxing time just the two of us, with noone else in the house. It’s going really well between us lately (not that it ever really isn’t, but we have our times) and I crave for the times when we can just hang out together, even if we’re doing our own things. I don’t know any couple quite like us, we seem to be able to stand being around each other pretty much all the time and I still find it a little heart-wrenching to say goodbye to him, even if I know we’re only going to be apart for a few hours. Lame and dependent? Yeah, I guess so, but it’s not doing me any harm so I might as well enjoy it πŸ™‚

Also, I’ve been thrilled with having a Nintendo Wii these days – we bought one a couple of weeks ago and got the Wii Fit Plus, Wii Sports, EA Sports Active, and Cricket games with it. I’ve been getting a fantastic workout with the Active game and watching my weight slowly diminish using the Wii Fit Plus game. Plus, Aaron and I really get a kick out of playing together in Tennis, haha. It was a bit of a blow to the budget but most of it is an early birthday present from Aaron and my parents, and it will hopefully be the thing that kick-starts the motivation to really shed a few kilos. I can’t wait πŸ™‚ So I completed a great workout this morning and I’ve been noticing my mood really seems to lift once I’ve done it so it’s a double bonus! πŸ™‚

I have been sick though, which sucks horrifically because my practice has become all but non-existent. I’ve been trying to keep up with it by going through jazz standards in all keys on the piano and keeping up the ear training, but my throat has been so sore and swollen that the only time I’ve picked up my clarinet in these last two weeks is when I’m at uni in rehearsal, and every time I come home feeling like crap because I’ve overdone it. It’s a bit of a stress – the tech exam is only a few weeks away now – but I’ve been able to get a lot of the theory/academic side of uni work happening which is, I guess, the next best thing. I am finally starting to understand figured bass and part-writing (which, by the way, URGH) and am basically up to date with most things… a week or so behind in other things. It’s not too bad considering they do expect us to put in a hell of a lot of work with these subjects, and most people are doing nothing at all. So that makes me feel alright about it πŸ™‚

Wow, it truly amazes me how many words I can churn out when I’m really on to something. ANOTHER reason to write more here, because it is feeling fantastic just to write about my life at the moment, as mundane as it may be, and just make sense of it a little bit. That being said, if I try and make it a goal to write more often, or every day, it will probably fail because I’ve got too many goals I’m trying to complete at the moment! I feel like getting the exercise in is already pushing it so I won’t make any promises… like always πŸ˜›

Well it’s 2:30 and I should try and get some stuff done. For my own benefit, I’ll make a list:
– Notes for Chapter 7 & 8 of the theory textbook … and I’ll do some of the self-review questions if I have time and/or am feeling up to it.
– Get a bit of practice done. Mostly piano and ear training, although I might try and just get 10-15 minutes of clarinet practice done, just so I’ve done something for my tech exam
– Hang up all the clothes in our room – its ridiculous how lazy we are, even once our clothes have been washed and dried… we just never hang them up :/
– While I’m at it, I think I’ll also put on a new load of washing…
– Clean up just a few things on the floor of the lounge room (seriously looks like a bomb’s hit it… every time we walk in, we have to walk AROUND the huge pile of crap in the middle of the room.. it’s pretty bad)

Do you know, that sounds like a pretty good list to go on right now. Hey, wish me luck! πŸ™‚

So it’s been totally busy, it feels like, for a little while. More busy than I’m used to, anyway. I’m really kind of hanging out for the end of this week because then a whole lot of stuff will be done and over. Recording for our primary school kids on Tuesday. Last proper lesson with them on Wednesday. Monash audition and Life Goes On gig on Thursday. And I could be wrong but I thought there was something happening on Friday too – I can’t even keep up!

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It is so easy to be over-consumed with grief. It is easy to hide away and think about nothing but the troubles that life so frequently presents. And it is certainly easy to feel sorry for yourself.

What’s not easy is to get on with life after the worst happens. To find positives in the events that have changed everything. To understand that life is short, unpredictable, unfair and to make the most of it anyway. I struggle with this sometimes.

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So I said yesterday was going to be my bumming day, but it ended up not being so much. Instead, we went to Strathewen with Aaron’s sister Clare. It was theΒ perfect day for it, too. There was not a cloud in the sky all day and the temperature was a comfortable 21 degrees (although it felt warmer when we were down there).

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Warning: This reads more as a fiction story than anything else – you will have to forgive me because that’s what it looks and feels like in my head, and so thats how the words came out on paper the screen. I promise I won’t always be this dramatic πŸ™‚

If you had showed me my life at this point two and a half years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you for a second, even if you had it in play-by-play mode. I would have asked where you’d found identical twins for myself and all my family because my brain simply would not have computed the fact that all this could actually be real. It’s not where I really saw my life headed and yet, here I am today and I can still hardly believe it.

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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!

@clarinade

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