Self Portrait in Three Colours

A Brain Full of Thoughts

Posted on: January 23, 2011

A few more things that are on my mind tonight:

– Today I felt very comfortable wearing clothes that I have not felt comfortable in for months. It is a small yet significant achievement to have reached, even though I’ve been lighter and still felt uncomfortable in similar clothes before. To put it out there, I am now right on 67kg. Yes, I still have a fair whack to work off before I’ll be happy with where I am, and yes, I had planned to have lost more by this time already (I blame it on Christmas), BUT the important point here is that I am losing weight and I am feeling healthier, and I am getting fitter. And to be honest this is a lifestyle change, not a short-term scurry to drop as many kilos as I can, and I have been feeling just awesome in every way over the past couple of weeks. I have loved our bike rides and I loved playing golf with Aaron and Mum & Dad the other day, and I really enjoy the EA Sports Active More Workouts Wii game – it’s amazing how exhausted and sweaty I can get after a 20 minute session on that thing! So it’s all positive and I’m happy for the weight to take a little longer to come off, as long as it does eventually.

– As positive as I am about doing a community services qualification this year and studying from home, a little part of my mind is still saying “Are you sure? Are you doing the right thing here?”, which is fair enough. There are aspects of uni that have been fantastic this year – very enjoyable. The people are generally really great and I’ve loved being in an ensemble and playing music. But I’ve gotta keep thinking of the future and not just the here and now. Plus there’s a lot to be improved in the Monash music program (namely the practice room situation, the all-too classical approach they take towards the jazz program, the pointless essays) and I think it’s very easy to forget those things and glorify the whole degree there. I guess we’ll see how I feel throughout the course of this year.

– Aaron and I went with Mum and Chris to the Heide Museum of Modern Art (or something like that) today. Lovely place with a cafe situated amongst natural bush and parkland. We had a coffee in the grass under the shade of a big tree and then went to have a look at the drawing exhibition. Now I don’t really get the whole art thing, and there was no exception today – 70% of the art either looked like scribble or consisted of words written on a page in the style of a 10-year-old, and it sparked a big discussion in the car on the way home on what people consider art and how you could really consider anything to be art (which is absolutely true… one of the pieces was a scrunched up piece of grey paper.. sorry, going a little too far for me!). That being said, I still enjoyed looking at the pieces because it felt like I was opening up my mind to this new and separate part of the world that so many people participate in and yet that I do not understand. It really makes me think that there are so many things in this world that I will never know or take part in, and yet there are thousands, if not millions, of people who invest their entire lives in these things. It’s the same as a non-musician trying to comprehend how to read and interpret music, and yet it is something that has been my entire life since before I can remember. It’s a mind-blowing concept. So I’m glad I was able to witness these pieces of “art”, even if I do disagree about their legitimacy.

– We are watching the cricket tonight, Aus vs England, 1 day match taking place in Sydney. I’m actually only glancing up every now and again but its comforting to have it on and I do actually really enjoy watching it if it’s an exciting game. It’s a very relaxing way to spend a Sunday night.

– There’s a few other things I could talk about right now but I think my writing energy has been officially sapped. I’m sure if I did this more often I’d get some chops back but I think I’ll have to work up to it! 2 posts in one day is not a bad start though 🙂 I’m off to explore some blogs!


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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!


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