Self Portrait in Three Colours

I Love You, Strathewen

Posted on: October 23, 2009

So I said yesterday was going to be my bumming day, but it ended up not being so much. Instead, we went to Strathewen with Aaron’s sister Clare. It was the perfect day for it, too. There was not a cloud in the sky all day and the temperature was a comfortable 21 degrees (although it felt warmer when we were down there).


I was feeling pretty lame, actually, because of my lack of sleep from the previous night, and my throat was giving me trouble. We’d had to get up early to be at school for band photos at 9am. I can’t wait to get a copy of that photo – the kids all looked so smart (even though half of them had forgotten/not gotten the message and weren’t in band uniform, hrmph). I’m kind of really proud of them 🙂

So we headed out after that, picking up some food from Baker’s Delight on the way. I have to say that no matter how awful you’re feeling, when you’re on that road out there and you’re playing good music and the weather is beautiful and there’s green everywhere, even where the worst of the fire hit, it’s very hard to keep feeling that way. And driving down the driveway was an uplifting experience – seeing the hill fresh with green grass and new growth. Hearing the bird life returning to the valley. It’s starting to feel more like the place I knew before February, and that makes me feel great.

We brought out chairs and a mattress and just relaxed. Harley came too and he loved it, he was exploring everywhere, and yet we didn’t need to really keep an eye on him because he didn’t stray too far. And he loved it when we brought out the footy, he was more interested in that than his tennis ball. Aaron gave me some good tips on kicking the football (because basically I suck) and I was just starting to get good when he kicked it up a tree. Tell me, please, how on earth do you get a football stuck up a burnt tree with no leaves? And then how do you get a drink bottle stuck up there while trying to get the ball down? Clare and Aaron spent a while throwing rocks and sticks up the tree trying to get them down (I didn’t even try, I’d probably hurt myself) – we got the football, but the drink bottle simply did not want to budge. So they started using the football to get the drink bottle down, which promptly got stuck up in the tree again and we were back to square one.We eventually got both items down but it was pretty hilarious! I took some really funny photos, and Harley was running around in the middle of it all loving the commotion.

We went for a wander down near the creek and were cranky with the amount of weeds everywhere so we started pulling them all out. I’ve never really weeded anything before, so it was good for me to do it, especially because I know there’s a lot more of that to come! I don’t mind because it’s Strathewen and I love making it look nicer. We got a fair amount pulled out by the time it really started getting warm. So the logical thing to do was to go and jump in the creek 🙂 Oh, it was lovely. It was cold, but not too cold, and we just waded around one area, where we’d like to clear up and make it like a little island with a swing chair and a picnic table, with a little bridge. We tried to get Harley to come in – he was not so keen.

We headed home shortly after that. Driving home was one of the most relaxing, enlightening experiences. We had Aaron’s Cruising music on, windows down, warm weather flowing in. I did a lot of thinking on that drive home. After everything that’s happened this year – all the deaths, the sadness, the loss – I can’t believe that it’s possible for me to still feel so good. And when I say that I don’t mean that I’m all happy rainbows and sunshine all the time – I certainly am not – but there was a feeling in me that things could still be okay, and that made all the difference. The way I see it, the human body simply won’t let you eradicate yourself of all positive feelings – there has to be happiness in you somewhere. Unless you have depression, which is an illness and not a reflection of the rational attitude of a person. I know that now.

So it was a beautiful day, and really nice to spend some time with Clare. We’re having a BBQ there tomorrow, my family and most of Aaron’s, because Kate and Brad are down for the weekend. I really wish Jess was coming too, I miss her. We’re going to do some more weeding which I’m looking forward to now that I’m good at it, haha. Here’s hoping it’s a beautiful day like yesterday.

Well I’m home by myself today. I miss Aaron like crazy. I hate it when he’s working, especially now that I have to make sure that I’ve got things to do to keep my mind occupied. But it’s okay I guess, I’m enjoying the relaxing time. I’ve got New Found Glory playing, I haven’t listened to them for ages, and they remind me so much of being in high school and being young and angry and innocent. I miss those days sometimes.

An empty chair at all the tables

And I’ll be seeing you when all my days boil down

For now we’ll say goodbye

We know it’s not the last time

I’ve lost the best part of my day

It’s better where you’re going, anyway.

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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!

@clarinade

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