Self Portrait in Three Colours

A Night Awake

Posted on: October 21, 2009

I am feeling just so, so lame.

Aaron and I didn’t sleep last night. And I mean that almost literally, we got about three hours sleep the entire night, and that was at around 4am. I think a contributing factor is that we had a sleep for like an hour at 6pm (we were just so, so tired after our 7:30am start at school) but we also had a heap on our minds. It was stressing us out for a few hours, until we finally decided bugger it, we’ll just stay up until we feel like sleeping and we can organize our teaching accordingly the next day. We watched Seinfeld for a few hours and talked and cuddled, it ended up being pretty nice surprisingly. But I woke up at 7:30 with the worst sore throat and just feeling really drained, really sore eyes.

I ended up only teaching half an hour less than what I was originally going to, because a few of my students have been away anyway, and so then I put two of my flute groups together. I was in there for three and a half hours including band (which strained my throat soooo much – singing over the top of a 20 piece band is hard work – but they’re sounding pretty good). And I was tired, but not as tired as I’ve been at work before, so I was able to manage it pretty well – I just kind of spaced out a few times. I feel sorry for my students when I start rambling like that.

It was weird because normally I’m not too bad at sleeping. These days it can take me a while to get to sleep because of all of this years events going round and round in my mind, but once I’m asleep I’m out like a log and I have to say I feel pretty lucky that that’s the case with me. Aaron’s Mum wakes up during the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep for ages – I’m glad that doesn’t happen to me. Last night was just very odd circumstances, but I’m glad I had Aaron up with me too. I simply cannot imagine going through all this without him, I’d be a nervous wreck.

Anyway, my teaching wasn’t so bad except for my throat. I do enjoy taking the concert band kids, I just get so much out of them. They’re playing so well and the pieces… well, they’re just sounding awesome, and yet we always find some great things to work on in our lessons. Aaron told me yesterday that I’m looking really comfortable teaching these days – well, I feel comfortable. I really feel like I know what I’m doing with these kids, I have goals for them and I know how they should be playing. I have teaching strategies, I have great analogies to use, I get great results out of these kids and it makes me feel really proud – of my teaching and of my students.

We just had dinner and I’m sitting in the lounge room with my third glass of wine (I think). I know you really shouldn’t, but I’m kind of using it as a way to knock me out tonight. I know that if I laid down in bed right now I would not sleep, and I can’t have another night like last night. We’re supposed to be at school at 9am tomorrow for band photos (which I am so excited about by the way) and I don’t want to be running on only a few hours sleep, I’ll look awful. Plus, I’m enjoying the effects that wine has on me, it’s making me feel slightly better.

After the photos tomorrow, we’ve got the day off so I’m going to use it to bum around the house and recover a little bit. I’ll pick up my clarinet if my throat improves at all. And perhaps I’ll write part two of My Life in Words, get a bit more of that out of the way. Regardless, I am going to make sure that it’s a very, very relaxed day! Looking forward to it 🙂


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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!


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