Self Portrait in Three Colours

Not For Me, Thanks

Posted on: October 18, 2009

Okay, I’ll admit it, although you’ll think I’m crazy, most likely.

I really, truly, with a fiery, fiery passion, hate going out.

And when I say “going out” I am referring to the sort of goings that people attend to on a Saturday night, in the city, with loud and terrible music, crowded bars, shady lighting, sleazy guys – I can’t stand it. And sometimes I think I must just not be understanding something correctly,  because basically everyone my age that I have ever known in my life makes out as if it’s a weekly experience that just cannot be lived without.

Aaron and I were in the city last night, we were out for a friend of his’ birthday. Basically, we went because the friend and his partner are really great people, and we wanted to make the effort to come out for them. While we were trying to find a park, I was looking out the window at these masses of young people (and a few old people too, urgh) all swarming from one bar or club to the next, wearing the most ridiculous shoes and the most revealing outfits (it may be Spring but it’s still freakin’ cold in the city at night), and I was trying with all my might to figure out what they were actually getting out of it. Do they enjoy sore feet? Do they enjoy pretending not to be frozen when they’re out in the street? And do they enjoy blowing all their savings on alcohol? I know I sound like the oldest grandma in the world but I just can’t see the fun in all of that. I’m so lucky Aaron feels the same way, too, because our relationship would surely not work if he wanted to be out on the town every weekend.

And it’s really not like I’m a reclusive person or anything, I enjoy being out with friends or whatever, but just not in a place where I have to yell into someone’s ear to have a conversation with them. We went to these guys’ house a few weeks back for dinner and some drinks, and we just had the best time. I’d much prefer to organize something like that, it is just 100 times more fun and relaxed.

Anyway, so we weren’t there for long – like, 2 hours max. We did have a nice conversation with a few of Aaron’s friends but it’s kind of awkward when you can’t really hear them over the thumping, repetitive music (play me some live jazz music and I’ll be more cooperative!!) And they’re totally understanding of our position at the moment, so it was fine that, when they wanted to move on, we just headed home. So home we went, and we spent the next three hours watching 24 with Dad. Now that I enjoyed!

This could be why I don’t feel like I connect with anyone my age. Perhaps I just skipped the part of my life where I’m supposed to enjoy spending 3 hours getting ready to go, spending an hour getting into the city by public transport, another half an hour walking in high heels to wherever we’re going, 4 hours in a club that plays the worst music I’ve ever heard in my life drinking alcohol that I could be drinking for half price at home, and then spending $70 for a taxi home at like 3 o clock in the morning. If that’s what I’ve got to do to fit in, well, I’m happy to either find older friends who are past all that or just spend the night at home with the most perfect person in the entire world (IMHO) doing things that appeal to the both of us. Yep. </rant>

Today ended up being a nice day. We went for a short meeting with Ed & Monty to discuss Term 4 at Eltham. Well, Aaron went for the meeting and I tagged along because we were heading to Strathewen straight afterwards, and so felt totally out of my depth and like a little bit of an intruder because I don’t work there and I’m just Aaron’s girlfriend. But anyway, some good things were discussed I think, and it was good for Aaron to get that out of the way. The drive out to Strathewen was nice, and I did a lot of thinking (remind me to write a nice long post about the current situation of my life right now, it will help to explain much of my writing see My Life in Words – Part 1. I’m getting onto the next parts). We dropped in on the neighbours – I met them for the first time – and had a great chat about fencing the property and things like that. They’re more fantastic than I realized.

We headed up to Kinglake after that to meet Dad, he’d walked all the way from the property, up the SEC  track, to the town centre – we had coffee and lunch with him there. Then we headed back down to Strathewen to sort out where our fencing line is going to go with one of the neighbours we had spoken to earlier. Dad and I talked about our Christmas situation: it will be my first Christmas without my family , but I’m okay with that really. Not because I don’t love them! But because it’s the compromise you have to make when you’re in a relationship like this one. I took advantage of the view down the valley to sort out the landscape of the property because I suck at retaining any sort of bearings when I’m in the bush. And then we travelled home with Aaron’s Uplifting playlist playing in the car.

I have plenty more to write about my general thoughts and feelings at the moment but I kind of don’t want this post to drag on and on, so I’ll leave that for another time. I’ll write more tomorrow.


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I'm Monica - a 21 year old Aussie girl trying to understand life. Teaching music and studying to be a primary school teacher. Blogging about everything and nothing!


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