So it’s been a couple of days since I’ve written (okay, a week). First it was cos we were a little bit busy (SHOCK HORROR) and then it was cos we were so incredible not busy that there was nothing to write about. We’ve had a couple of 24 marathon nights since I last wrote – my whole family, including Mum & Chelsea’s boyfriend Harry, came and stayed on Thursday night (Mum sat in our room reading and playing Rummykub on her iPhone, she had a great time!) – and then we went down to their place on Saturday night. We’re two episodes away from finishing the first season – quite an achievement for only four different sessions. 24 is a TV series that I could watch over and over again and still pick up new things and be mildly shocked when something happens that I’d forgotten. What an amazing example of great television programming

We also got our air conditioning put in last Friday! We actually had to have it on the heater the day we got it installed because it was so cold (um, hello summer?!?) but since then we’ve had a few warm days where it’s come in handy. Like today – it’s been 31 degrees (really the top end of my comfortable-ness with heat) and it’s kept the lounge room a balmy 25 degrees – beautiful. Also we went with Denese to Spotlight the other day to pick up all the materials we needed for curtains. We even got one up in our bedroom the other day, so no more waking up being positively blinded by the sun. The others are yet to be done, cos we had to get more screws to put in the window frame. Finally, yesterday we went to pick up our new (second hand) entertainment unit and coffee table that we bought off Gumtree. The coffee table we’re not using because it’s too big, but it was part of the deal. The entertainment unit, however, is gorgeous.

It’s huge – it takes up a great deal of the space in our lounge room, but it’s so beautiful that we deal with it. Plus it’s got oodles of storage space, so it makes up for it being big.

Today we took Denese and Peter to the airport for their trip to Tassie, and we haven’t done much else all day! I’ve been reading lots, I just finished My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult – one of the most intensely emotional books I’ve ever read – and now I’m reading a book called Daniel’s Not Talking by Marti Leimbach, about a boy with autism and his family’s struggle. Interesting so far.

We’ve been trying a new healthy eating thing today (well mine started yesterday), which we are keeping up for exactly a week (and hopefully further on). I’ve been finding it really hard getting back on track with eating healthy and exercising, and it’s mainly because I let myself have things that I shouldn’t. I know that when I’ve been eating healthily for a period of time I don’t want any of that stuff, but because I’m in the habit, I can’t break it, even when I promise myself I’ll only have a little bit of [insert desirable food here]. So for one week I am not allowing myself anything unhealthy. Water and tea (and the occasional coffee, I decided today) is all I can drink, and the main portion of my diet will consist of fruit, vegies and grains. There’s not much we can do about dinner because we’ve already bought BBQ meat and pasta sauces in bulk (it’s cheap!), but I’ve just been having smaller amounts. Day 2 and I’m going strong

We went for a walk this evening, after dinner and watching a bit more of Lord of the Rings. We were just going to walk the driveway like we usually do, but as we were walking we noticed a patch of bush off the track where the grass and the shrub wasn’t as super thick as everywhere else. We decided to check it out – it’s been so long since we’ve been bush-bashing. It was just nice to see somewhere different. Our property is so big and we hardly get to see any of it anymore because everything has grown so close together and is still relatively small after the fires. We’ve noticed it starting to thin out recently, though, which is very exciting. After a short stint of exploring in the bush, we continued up the driveway and stopped at the old gate so Aaron could rake out some of the loose gravel. I took the opportunity to check out the old stairs that were there for years before the fires and that we worked hard to bring back to life afterwards. When I say stairs, by the way, I mean just indentations into the hill, no man-made materials, just created with a shovel. Anyway, the last time I saw them, the section halfway up the hill was completely bare and would get slippery and muddy every time it rained. Now it’s completely overgrown and I had to be careful in sections so I wouldn’t trip down onto the next step. At the bottom, the blackwoods and wattles have completely taken over. It reminded me of the secret gardens for fairies that I used to read about, it was so dark and mysterious in there. The small birds love it.

After climbing back up the hill I went for a wander down the trench that filters water off the driveway when it rains. It’s one of the only other spots that you can walk without getting attacked by trees, and it extends down maybe 100 metres or so. I stood at the end and looked up at the big trees silhouetted in the sky, their branches bare of any leaves after the fire. With the sunset as a backdrop, it looked beautiful. And it reminded me how important it is to get off the beaten track whenever you can, in all areas of life. Sometimes you’ll see things you never thought you’d see, things that make you think about life differently. It was an eye-opening walk, however simple and “uneventful” it was, and it was extremely beneficial for my mental health.

Aaron has been organising our budget so we have a little bit more in spending money every week for the last stretch of the holidays. We’re thinking we might go down to Williamstown tomorrow or the next day and eat fish and chips on the bay. We haven’t done anything like that in a while so I’m really looking forward to it

Now, in the spirit of eating healthy, I’m going to go and make myself a smoothie for dessert!

But I feel amazing!

This morning, despite the sky threatening to pour on me (it didn’t, thankfully!!), I put on my runners, grabbed my iPhone and my hand weights and pushed myself up the driveway. It was the first time walking with my new hand weights from Aaron for Christmas, and it was sooo much hard than what I was expecting. My thoughts were, okay, kill two birds with one stone – I’m getting my cardio in as well as toning my arms – but it worked out my entire body. I had to walk much slower than I usually would because my heart rate was way up, and I actually felt like I had weights on my legs too, because they were burning way more than usual. I only went once up and back – I figure I need to regain some stamina to start going twice, and also my stomach cramps were starting to kick in – but when I got back I was feeling so good that I decided to get in some ab workouts! Once again, Cassey Ho of Blogilates comes to the rescue with an amazing Intense Ab Workout. She’s not wrong when she calls it intense! Once again, I couldn’t quite manage every single move, but the fact that I made it to the end of the 10 minutes without dying is enough for me By the end, despite the fact that my every molecule was screaming, I felt so good for having actually done it.

I have to remember this for the days that I feel unmotivated and lethargic. Like yesterday – I had the whole day at home, with nothing on the agenda, and I didn’t write or exercise, and I literally had to force myself to do the dishes in the kitchen, only because we didn’t have a single plate or bowl left in the cupboard. And I didn’t feel any better for being lazy, either.

Not only does my body feel great after having done this exercise, I’m much more motivated to get stuff done (like write this blog post!!). We’re going to my parent’s place tonight for dinner and another 24 marathon, and then we’re going out for dinner with Clare tomorrow, so we won’t actually be home until tomorrow night. So I’m going to make sure we’ve got everything we need for staying overnight (it feels so weird to actually have to pack stuff to stay at my family’s home!!), we need to get washing and water containers organised to take there, I might do some dishes so the kitchen is clean for when we get home, and I might even just tidy up a little bit around the place. Funny that this motivation might have come in handy yesterday when I had the whole day here!

Fast forward two years and we’re living in our own home, we have our own space, we are dealing much better with the loss of loved ones (it never leaves you, by the way, but your heart can heal in ways you never thought possible) and my uni path has taken a whole new direction. We no longer have to worry about cleaning stuff up just because we’ll be told off otherwise. That pile of dishes is still sitting there from yesterday and I don’t even care, because we’ll do it in our own time. I don’t have to worry about practicing when I feel sick. I don’t have to worry about people breathing over my shoulder when I’m writing, because instead of just having a bedroom to sit in, we have a lounge room, all of our own. I feel completely satisfied with my career choice, and totally pumped to get started. I am just so happy with my life the way it is right now, and it’s nice to finally feel that way, after everything we’ve been through.

Here’s to amazing year in 2012!

Earlier today I fooled myself into thinking that I would actually survive a 30 minute Pilates workout not geared for beginners (like the POP Pilates for Beginners Total Body Workout – which I love by the way). I clicked past the 7, 10, 15 minute workouts – yep, I was definitely ready for 30 minutes, bring it on! I thought.

I completed part 1 and part 2 of the POP Pilates Summer Slimdown. But only just. And with numerous modifications. And some cursing. And a lot of almost-giving-up. BUT I DID IT, I ACTUALLY GOT TO THE END. The relief, exhilaration and sheer exhaustion that followed was enough emotion to deal with, but as soon as I attempted to pull myself up off the floor, my muscles were screaming at me as well. Even now, more than 8 hours later, I can hardly lift my arms, my legs are a wobbly mess and don’t even get me started on how my abs feel.

Despite all the pain, I feel amazing mentally, and the soreness is just a reminder of how hard I worked. To me, it’s enough that I actually made it through having done most of the moves – now I can’t wait for the day when I can make it through the whole thing, no modifications, no “little breaks”.. and maybe with the same enthusiasm as the trainer Cassey (that might take a little longer though..!!!)

I am really on board with this pilates stuff. My aim is to eventually do some form of pilates every morning before breakfast with some cardio in the afternoon – at the moment my goal is every two days, with a walk on the off day. As lazy as I’m being so far this summer (cricket, internet and playstation are pretty much my only endeavours at the moment.. yeah, lazy) I think I can make this happen before I go back to work/uni. I’m doing alright at Day 4, anyway

So apart from ripping my muscles apart with the pilates today, I haven’t done a lot – I watched Michael Clarke get his 300 and Hussey get his 150 in the cricket (we’re a day behind, watching it on foxtel with no ads, woohoo!), I did an hour of homework and I purposely avoided washing the huge stack of dishes in the kitchen. We had amazing hamburgers for dinner and we’ve put on Lord of the Rings, which we’re watching in stages cos neither of us have the attention span to last the whole 50 3 hours of the movie. Aaron’s been racing on Gran Turismo but actually I think it’s about time we got back to the movie otherwise we’ll be up all night watching it Until tomorrow!

I’ve found it hard to connect with people since finishing high school. I’m not sure what it is – maybe it’s just that I have differing values to all the people I’ve met, or maybe it’s just cos I’m a little bit awkward. Anyway, my shortcomings in the social department are for another post – I do happen to love my family because we have so much fun together

It hasn’t always been like this. I mean, we never hated each other, and we’ve always gotten along (to an extent haha) but in the last few years, as everyone’s grown up, we’ve learnt to really appreciate each other’s company. And since then we’ve done some pretty great things together.

I think it’s partly to do with the addition of  Aaron – his family has always been super-close, going on camping trips together and hanging out – so his (and my) effort to bring that to my family has resulted in just that. Our insistence that we spend more time together and go on family holidays made us all realise that we can have fun without other people (friends etc) having to be there.

It also has to do with the fact that my brother and sister are now in their mid-teens and can understand and participate in more “adult” jokes. To be honest I always wondered how my parents would cope with them growing up, because they always appeared to be on the conservative side, but they’ve actually embraced the change and now make these jokes themselves- which makes us hanging out all the more fun!

Because of the kind of person I am, I always feel more comfortable when it’s just me and my family hanging out. I can just be, and not have to worry about trying to make a good impression all the time.

At my 20th - family and Denese & Peter (who may as well be family)

We’re a good team and I feel very lucky that we can not only laugh and be stupid together, but that we’re all there to support each other through anything. I guess that’s what family’s for, right?

What brings all this sentimentality on? Well, Dad, Chris & Chelsea stayed the night at our place last night, to play Gran Turismo and watch numerous episodes of 24. I realised as we were cooking the BBQ and just chilling out outside that I was lucky to have a family that I could call friends. I have no idea who I’ll meet at uni this year – I might make some really amazing friends (I hope I do!!) – but it’s awesome to know that no matter what I’ll always have a family to go home to, and that’s the best part about all of this

Dad, Chris & Chelsea are coming over this afternoon so I want to get a couple more things done before they get here – we need to finish cleaning our bedroom, and I want to get 30 minutes of homework done because I’m depressingly behind and probably won’t be finished by the end of these holidays now, blearrrgh. But I need to get myself back into the routine so starting with 30 minutes isn’t a bad effort

I also want to get back into eating healthy and exercising. This is not a new years resolution because I’ve recently come to realise that they are just a bit cliche and don’t tend to hold more than a few weeks – it’s just an ongoing goal of mine. I was doing really well late last year, and was even noticing the differences in my body and mood, but the end of the year and Christmas put a dint in my progress and I’m finding it hard to get back on track. Unfortunately we have an abundance of soft drink, chips, chocolate and alcohol in our house at the moment because of Christmas parties and gifts, and I haven’t had the motivation to get back into the exercise, but today I’m feeling good after the pilates workout. Of course, tonight being our 24 night I’ll be drinking but I’m going to try and keep the rest of the unhealthy stuff to a minimum. I might even get my sister to come for a walk with me (she’s been into the healthy stuff recently too). Anyway, I’ve definitely had a good enough break from being super strict and I think it’s time to jump back into it – it’s all in the mind, because I feel amazing when I’m eating clean and working out.

Cricket’s on and I’m enjoying watching Ricky Ponting and Michael Clarke strut their stuff out there, they are my favourite players because they seem like such awesome guys and they are so exciting to watch. I’m getting into cricket much more these days – although I can’t do what Aaron does and just sit in front of the tv for hours watching it, I just like having it on while I’m doing something else (like writing this blog!)

Well I know this post has been a little bit all over the place but I don’t care cos it’s my blog And so far my writing schedule has greatly increased and that’s the point

The most annoying thing is, is that we have a reverse-cycle air conditioner sitting in a box in our house waiting to get installed. And it’s supposed to get installed this week, but after today it’s all like low to mid twenties and we probably won’t use it. Ha! I guess I should enjoy this weather seeing as Melbourne gets it approximately 5 days a year

I haven’t mentioned yet that we have pretty much zero dollars to spend for these whole holidays. Well, we have a bit, but it’s little enough that we really can’t go out more than say twice a week for groceries, and maybe treat ourselves to lunch/dinner out once a fortnight. So it’s the best time for it to be sweltering hot because we literally don’t have to do anything. I’m putting off my homework until it’s cooler (probably bad mistake but anyway) and there’s no point cleaning the place, exercising or going outside when it’s this warm. So I’ve been trawling blogs and playing Lego Harry Potter all day today It’s been fairly entertaining!

I’m waiting for the cool change – it’s supposed to be 22 degrees and raining tomorrow, which is much more my kind of weather. We’re having Dad, Chris and Chelsea up to our place to play Gran Turismo and watch 24 tomorrow afternoon, so the morning will be my time to get some stuff done without sitting in a pool of my own sweat (there’s an image for you!)

Until then I’m going to continue being a huge bum

I’m going to work on creating smaller posts, more frequently, and will build it up as I go along. So keep your eyes out for my year in review post soon as well as lots of other little thoughts and daily recounts! Very excited!!

P.S. Just hit Publish on this post and WordPress is telling me that it is my 36th post on this website. Thirty-six?? Really?!? I can’t believe I’ve written so much already! I feel like I hardly use this thing. Well, I’m looking forward to increasing that number substantially this year!

January started off by Aaron and myself living in our big canvas tent in the middle of the valley with a driveway we couldn’t drive down. Driveway repairs had been put off due to weather time and time again, so every time we wanted to get to the tent we would have to cart all our stuff/groceries down in backpacks. Same thing when walking back up to the car, although that was harder because the driveway is steep! Subsequently we still spent a decent amount of time at Aaron’s mum’s place and my parent’s place, especially when it was warm!! We went on lots of bike rides, played golf, I started (and didn’t get very far with) a 365 day project, and we bought a mower, which was very very exciting considering there wasn’t much room for us to actually move around down at the property for all the long grass. It was great to see some of the flats back and green again.

At this point I was very much realising that I couldn’t continue with my music degree. As much as I loved my first year at uni, it was pointless continuing because I knew I would never make a career of it. I did a lot of research and came across an online diploma of Community Services, which interested me enough to sign up for. I also made the decision to go into primary education in 2012 – a huge turning point in my life.

February saw the completion of our driveway! Hooray! Almost a year on from the original completion date We made good use of the driveway by very quickly buying a caravan to live in. The original plan was actually to continue to live in the tent and buy a shipping container to have a kitchen etc in. Looking back, I can’t believe we even considered that when I look at how great the caravan has been to live in.

This was a pretty huge thing because it marked the first time we have been able to properly live out of home. We were still spending a couple of nights a week at my parent’s place because we didn’t have power to the van at this stage, but we gained so much more independence from this move.

We were also back at school at this point and working hard on recruiting new music students, and we also did a day trip to the Dandenongs with my family – a pretty rare thing for them, but so much fun!

In March, several very large trees were taken down on the property. It was really sad to see some of them go as they were very much iconic for our place.

We also got a portable shower and toilet delivered free of charge courtesy of the bushfire fund and Dunnys R Us, which was awesome cos it meant we didn’t need to use our little camping toilet anymore. The shower and toilet have been an absolute godsend. We also had our Bushfire Attack Level assessment re-done by a different guy and got an amazing 19 – a far cry from the Flame Zone rating we had been given last year.

Aaron and I also went on a weekend camping trip to Bendigo and Mt Buangor; we did a day trip to Eildon with my family and my cousin Peter and his girlfriend Keely; Chris and Chelsea turned 15; and Dad celebrated his 51st birthday

April was great! We went away with my family to the Big Desert for Easter, camping in a secluded bush setting for three nights. We did some great walks and – highlight of the trip – a bit of 4WDing in Mum’s Nissan Xtrail. Aaron and I got a big of a bug for the driving especially and started metaphorically praying to the 4WD gods to grant us one so we could do our own off-road driving. We also had a trench dug in preparation for power and a telephone line to be laid.

In May I had an operation to remove a lipoma and was a cripple for about 2 weeks, but really started feeling better about my body afterwards. We met with the director of a kit home company and started planning to build our very own home on our property – it was looking to be a really exciting journey at that stage. Our shipping container was delivered which gave us some excellent storage space, and our little primary school band came second in the Boroondara Eisteddfod. Aaron and I also got to go as supervising teachers on the Concert Band tour to Daylesford for our old high school (where Aaron works) – loads and loads of fun.

In June I turned twenty one! Simultaneously excited and terrified about the notion, I celebrated with my family and Aaron’s at my parent’s place. It was a really great night and I felt so lucky to have everyone I loved in the one room.

We also got to go on our high school’s Symphonic Band tour to Canberra and Sydney for a week, which was even more fun than the Concert Band tour. And – very exciting – we got power to our property and caravan. We bought a toaster, a kettle, a heater and a TV and suddenly we were very, very comfortable in our little place

July saw us on a trip to Fitzroy Falls with Denese, Peter & Clare, staying in the same little hut that we stayed in with my family a couple of years ago. We had so much fun together!

We also got to tutor at the high school band camps – yet another privilege for me especially, because it gives me the chance to work with high school students, which I don’t often get to do. One notable experience was tutoring the Symphonic Band kids on what can only be the most difficult work known to man – that was pretty challenging!!

The Combined Band at our primary school also had their first rehearsal, preparing for Melbourne School Bands Festival the next month. 

August was a busy month. Our primary school band had their first ever all-day workshop with sectionals, a special guest conductor and fish and chips for lunch. Soon after, they performed in Melbourne Schools Bands Festival – and very well, mind you! Aaron’s high school Jazz and Training Bands also performed in the festival and then very quickly started preparing for South Street.

Kate and Brad visited us in mid-August bearing some relatively bad news – long story short, we’re not able to build straight away because we can’t take a loan out against the property. Seeing as though we’d been in talks with the kit home company and were looking to start building early 2012, we were completely devastated. We started looking at different options for living, including buying a bigger caravan and – what we ended up settling on – getting a hard annexe built to our current caravan.

After the disappointment set in, we realised we had to stop always looking to the future and start living now. We wanted our 4WD. Honestly, I didn’t expect us to get one straight away, but by the end of August, we had a brand new (second hand) shiny Nissan Patrol in our possession. We started planning a two-week camping trip immediately.

September begun with the annual South Street competitions for Aaron’s Jazz band (they came first!). We also stayed to watch the Symphonic band section, because my brother was playing in the rival school, plus we wanted to see our high school perform. We were furiously planning our camping trip by this stage, planning to see the Flinders Ranges in South Australia. During a dinner in town with my whole family, my gran and grandad, aunt, uncle, cousin and great-uncle, my brother not-so-discreetly hinted that he would be interested in coming with us. We thought – what better way for him to spend his entire spring two-week school holidays than camping in the desert? So of course we invited him along.

Just before we left for our trip, I decided I was too fed-up with my Nokia phone to continue using it, and I got an iPhone 3GS (at a bit of an extra cost, unfortunately – but totally worth it!). We departed on our holiday on the 23rd of September and were away for two whole weeks, visiting the Grampians, Mt Remarkable, Flinders Ranges National Park, Gammon Ranges, the Murray River close to the border and the Little Desert. It was one of the best experiences of my entire life, and taught me so much. The three of us had a great time

We returned from our trip in early October, just in time to celebrate Aaron’s mum’s 60th (I am tempted to call her my mother-in-law because for all intents and purposes she is, just not by marriage haha!) And then suddenly we were back into school, and I was starting my Community Services work placement at YMCA Youth Services, which brought my hours up to basically full time (the first time since finishing high school). I learnt so much through this placement, and got to be involved in so many different things – running school programs, playing basketball with people with special needs, doing heaps of admin work, working with girls with autism and disengaged “mainstream”girls. The people I worked with were absolutely amazing and although I’m totally psyched for next year and my Education degree, I’m really glad I got a chance to experience the things I did on my placement.

I also applied for the Primary Education degree via VTAC in October, and waited (slightly impatiently) to find out if I got in.

In November, I continued working full time, feeling exhausted but knowing it was all good stuff. I was walking the driveway almost every day and noticed some great changes in my body because of it. I was involved in two Autism workshops with YMCA which changed so much of my predispositions to people with Autism, it was a huge eyeopener and a real highlight of my whole placement.

Aaron did an awesome job of organising our annexe to be built during this time. He was constantly drawing up different floor plans, researching costs, extending our annexe by a foot.. and then another foot.. and then another – and speaking to the annexe company who ended up building it for us.

On 11/11, my beautiful Great-Nan passed away at the age of 97. We all went up to Canberra for the funeral and as sad as the event was, it was really wonderful to spend time with all my extended family and celebrate Great Nan’s life.

Great Nanna & me, Christmas 1992

Work in December had the momentum of a speeding train, only to crash to a halt a week before Christmas. We celebrated Christmas with our primary school band by performing spectacularly at the school carols, holding a promotion workshop with the grade 1-4s, having a fish and chip lunch and then all working together to clean up the music room. We got tons of beautiful presents and also had to say goodbye to our six grade 6s who were leaving us for high school.

I also had to say goodbye to the team from YMCA, which was more sad than what I thought it would be!!

Our annexe was built this month. Words cannot express how amazing it is to finally have our own space – it is a real home, and we can finally start living – not just in a cramped little caravan.

We had planned on celebrating Aaron’s’ 27th with a party at our place, with annexe completely finished, but one day before the party Aaron’s mum was in a car accident which had her in hospital with a broken sternum for a couple of nights. We called the party off because we didn’t really feel like celebrating. After getting over the shock of the accident, we were feeling a bit better being on holidays and getting ready for Christmas with Aaron’s interstate sisters here, Jess staying in our “spare bedroom” with us for two weeks!

We had a slightly downgraded party on Christmas Eve with both our families to celebrate Aaron’s postponed birthday, and it was really amazing to have everyone there – in our place!! Aaron got a racing wheel and seat for the playstation from everyone, which has already kept him very busy, and we opened up presents from my family as we weren’t going to see them in the morning. We spent Christmas morning with Aaron’s family and Christmas lunch with mine, at my aunt and uncle’s place.

For New Year’s Eve we had my parents and Denese and Peter to our place for dinner, and it was the most relaxed and enjoyable new years I can remember having. We had a really nice BBQ outside, we played a lot of Gran Turismo 5, and we went up the SEC track to watch the fireworks at midnight over the city. It was the perfect way to bring in the new year – at our beautiful property, in our beautiful house, with our beautiful parents.

Gosh, that was long! I guess we really had a busy year – and those were just the highlights!!

2011 was an awesome year and will, for many years to come, signify us getting out on our own and starting to live our “adult” lives. I have been consistently happy this year and am genuinely excited to get into study next year, I can’t wait for what lies ahead. Happy 2012!

That’s my next point! I feel LAZY and bored. We have spent so much time lying in bed watching TV or just playing meaningless games on our iPods this week. And it’s not even just cos it’s holidays – we do it every chance we get during a working week. It’s ridiculous. I’m just sick of not having anything to really set my mind to. I’ve got this online diploma, yes, but I don’t want to always have to just do homework or reading. I want a creative pursuit, like writing or photography, something that I can do in my free time, to feel like I’m contributing to the world. What’s getting me down is that I feel like I’ve tried doing these things in the past and I always fail. I just revert back to being lazy. I need full-time motivation, I need to be inspired. And as much faith as I have in myself (I guess), I’m finding it really hard to keep it going longer than a week or two.

I want to ACHIEVE SOMETHING. I’d love to do a thirty day writing challenge – you know, write something every day for a month, and actually complete it – or, I don’t know, create a photography website, or .. lose a few kilos and then write about how I did it. Just to see some accomplishment in my life – I feel like my last great achievement was finishing Year 12 :/

Anyway. We’re going away this weekend, to Fitzroy Falls. Maybe I can pull some inspiration from there and come back and do something worthwhile. We’ll see.

In other news, it’s Henk’s birthday today, and I’ve thought a bit about it, and probably would have written more about it earlier today, but I don’t really feel like it now. I think I’m just learning that it’s better to deal with the grief rather than try and make myself feel better by trying to hide away from it. Maybe that’s what the whole bumming on the laptop and playing games thing is about – me trying to get away from it. Maybe if I write more, I’ll be able to get out of this little funk I’m in.

Despite how down in the dumps I sound, I’m not feeling that bad, especially now that I’ve written this all down. It’s just stuff that’s been on my mind this week, and perhaps writing about it will give me the motivation to do something more about the problem. We’ll see!